{"product_id":"absolutely-not-t-shirt-funny-statement-tee-absolutely-not-going-to-happen","title":"(\"Absolutely Not Going to Happen\")","description":"Lightweight and soft, this crew-neck tee speaks with a dry wink. The clean, typographic front reads “ABSOLUTELY NOT \/ GOING TO HAPPEN” in a minimalist, slightly vintage serif—bold without shouting. It sits crisply on the chest, leaving the back uncluttered so the message stands alone. Wear it when you want to close the conversation without being rude: layered under a jacket for quick errands, paired with jeans on a slow Saturday, or thrown on after a long day when small talk feels exhausting. The neutral white lets the text take center stage and makes the shirt easy to style with worn-in denim, moto boots, or a relaxed cardigan. Comfortable, breathable, and low-fuss—this tee becomes a subtle, relatable statement in everyday life.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% ring-spun cotton (lightweight 153 g\/m²) for a soft, breathable feel\u003cbr\u003e- Tubular knit construction with no side seams for a smooth silhouette\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed crew neckline with shoulder tape to retain shape and prevent stretching\u003cbr\u003e- Pearlized tear-away label and ethically sourced materials (Oeko-Tex certified)\u003cbr\u003e- DTG\/DTF printed text and sleeve options; meets EU safety and chemical standards\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Do not bleach\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 64000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Bangladesh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors , Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Light Blue \/ S","offer_id":43986871812180,"sku":"26529281599390171057","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ S","offer_id":43986871844948,"sku":"11258382364692658242","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ 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